“Not You Fat Jesus” – FUNNIEST QUOTES

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“Ray, next time someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!” — Ghostbusters

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“Not you, fat Jesus.” — The Hangover

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“You’ve got red on you.” — Shaun of the Dead

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“You’d be surprised what you can do…with a well placed thumb.” – American Reunion

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Are you tryin’ to trash talk me? You’re mama’s like a vacuum cleaner. She sucks, she blows and gets laid in a closet.” – The Campaign

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“It’s so damn hot… milk was a bad choice.” – Anchorman

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“What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd?  Let’s get the flock out of here.” – Lethal Weapon

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“You could trouble me for a glass of warm milk. Now you will go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep. Check out the nametag. You’re in my world now Grandma.” – Happy Gilmore

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“Hey, I just did my first desk pop!” – The Other Guys

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“I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?” – Step Brothers

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“YOU! ARE! A! TOYYYYY! You aren’t the real Buzz Lightyear! You’re…you’re an action figure!” – Toy Story

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“One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu, we called it a bullshit.” – Dumb and Dumber

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“When I was a kid I snuck into my mother’s bedroom, she was laying there, naked. She’d been drinking all night and I snuck up behind her. I slipped my fingers…into her purse and I took her money. The whole weeks pay, I really fucked her over and that’s how I got the name, Motherfucker Jones.” – Horrible Bosses

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“You know when you grab a womans breast and it feels like a bag of sand…” – The 40 Year Old Virgin

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TOP 10: Zombie Movies

This is a list of some of the best zombie movies, it was a hard decision as to what would make it into the top ten but here they are! But before I start can I just say that George A. Romero features quite a lot, all I have to say is THANK YOU.

10. Zombieland (2009)

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Zombieland was superbly done, even though this is a zom-com it still brings great depth in its story and some interesting cameos (from one Bill Murray). The rules system that Columbus invents is hilariously funny and it actually works, with great make up, and a great cast it earns its place on the top ten.

9. Night of the Living Dead (1968)

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Filmed in 1967 by then fledgling director George A. Romero, Night of the Living Dead is a film that while raw in some of its production, was and is spot-on in evoking the most dreadful and deep-seeded of frights. It redefined a lackluster monster and gave rise to both a new genre in horror and a new image in the public consciousness. As one of the first ever hard hitting zombie movies it gives the audience a fright to remember.

8. Day of the Dead (1985)

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Day of the Dead was released in 1985; this was just the beginning of George A. Romero’s zombie apocalypse plans. The first two movies, Night and Dawn, had a great mix of social commentary and straight-up gore, which is a difficult balance to maintain. An iconic scene; zombies breaking through the walls a great moment… but can zombies really break through walls?

7. Land of the Dead (2005)

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Gory and entertaining, Land Of The Dead is George A Romero’s long-delayed fourth film in his zombie franchise. It’s not as gory and disturbing as Night, as smart as Dawn or as exciting as Day, but a bit more comedic in an instance. However, it still delivers the walking dead goods. Fans of the franchise will appreciate its gore, it comes in around above-average.

6. Day of the Dead (2008)

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George A. Romero is at it again with Day of the Dead and trying to revitalise his zombie series, this is a hectic movie, fast paced, missing the depth of the original. The main story is very much on the action as a viral outbreak creates zombies, and a few people struggle to say alive. In other words it is a very standard zombie movie. It might be done well and look good in most places, it keeps up a cracking pace and there is plenty of blood and action, but it’s not anything new.

5. Resident Evil (2002)

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From video game to screen, this adaptation of a classic arcade game is fantastic, its chilling, and it brings new dynamics to the zombie genre. Unlike others of its kind the zombie virus has been manufactured by a company (Umbrella) as a weapon gone horribly wrong. This movie brings action and zombies together in a confined space with one evil computer bitch trying to kill every last survivor along with the dead trying to munch on the humans too.

4. Dawn of the Dead (2004)

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AGAIN George A. Romero features in this countdown. Dawn of the Dead is one of the best horror films of all time. It is genuinely frightening, great special effects. It’s suspenseful, well directed and acted. The touches of humour make it work that much better. It’s a welcome surprise, containing more scares than Romero’s other remakes (Day of the Dead, 2008), while paying grand lip service to the old version.

3. Dead Snow (2009)

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Released in 2009 DØD SNØ, is a Norwegian horror-comedy that tells a  tale of a group of med students travel to the middle of nowhere for incredibly isolated getaway. There is drinking and fornication. There has to be, apparently, as it’s a horror movie. Even though it’s got a comedic value to it, I still found it chilling and found the special effects and make up great! And who can resist a horror-com about Nazi Zombies?

2. Shaun of the Dead (2004)

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Shaun of the Dead is one of my favourite movies of all time. I couldn’t stop laughing whilst watching this movie; Sean Pegg and Nick Frost truly make this movie. With exceptional special effects for a low budget movie it puts some of the other movies in this countdown to shame. A gleefully gory parody of George A. Romero’s zombie films (see here he is again…) however this isn’t just a parody this movie stands on its own. Fantastic.

1. Dawn of the Dead (1978)

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Being a movie made in the late 70’s it looks a bit dated in comparison to the flicks we’re used to these days. Often it’s pace is slow, the blood looks too vividly red, the general fashion at times is laughable but these are really just nitpicks on what is a great and enthralling movie at times, which will not only put fear in you it’ll make you think and that’s getting rare these days. There is simply no reason not to see this movie if you haven’t already. Dawn of the Dead (1978) is recommended without reserve. It has my favourite scene ever to appear in a zombie film, that bastard army guy finally gets his comeuppance for being prick and gets ripped apart by zombies, and dinner is served!