“Not You Fat Jesus” – FUNNIEST QUOTES


“Ray, next time someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!” — Ghostbusters


“Not you, fat Jesus.” — The Hangover


“You’ve got red on you.” — Shaun of the Dead


“You’d be surprised what you can do…with a well placed thumb.” – American Reunion


Are you tryin’ to trash talk me? You’re mama’s like a vacuum cleaner. She sucks, she blows and gets laid in a closet.” – The Campaign


“It’s so damn hot… milk was a bad choice.” – Anchorman


“What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd?  Let’s get the flock out of here.” – Lethal Weapon


“You could trouble me for a glass of warm milk. Now you will go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep. Check out the nametag. You’re in my world now Grandma.” – Happy Gilmore


“Hey, I just did my first desk pop!” – The Other Guys


“I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?” – Step Brothers


“YOU! ARE! A! TOYYYYY! You aren’t the real Buzz Lightyear! You’re…you’re an action figure!” – Toy Story


“One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu, we called it a bullshit.” – Dumb and Dumber


“When I was a kid I snuck into my mother’s bedroom, she was laying there, naked. She’d been drinking all night and I snuck up behind her. I slipped my fingers…into her purse and I took her money. The whole weeks pay, I really fucked her over and that’s how I got the name, Motherfucker Jones.” – Horrible Bosses


“You know when you grab a womans breast and it feels like a bag of sand…” – The 40 Year Old Virgin


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